You In Gruntz Land

[SpaceGoo]

Just wanted to see how much you all would really like to play Gruntz!
_{And if you'd like, explain why.}

[abdalla]

i dont want to stay at home i want to stay withe my frends the gruntz for ever withe there cl and cb

[Gamer]

There's too many ways to die -- some worse than others. Of course, it's based on the real world, but ideally we don't have to face those hazards.

[frikzoogoo]

You're giving me the opportunity to cross through a pan-dimensional drift into a virtual computer-based game world where brain bedazzlement and perplexities are inevitable. And you actually think anyone's ganna reject such an offer and stay in our very own 'exciting-following-the-laws-of-physics' world. Sooo... of course I'll go! I thrive on the very concept of going beyond the ordinary. oh, yes, but I don't envision my visit being too long. Death by 'Darwin Award' standards by shovel, straw or sponge-gun disembodiment and the possibility of one's guts being splattered, incinerated, decapitated, frozen, shattered, drowned, melted, crushed or publicly humiliated in casinos. just doesn't go well with me...

Furthermore... those gruntz do live in a kinda messed up society with no noticeable democratic government. i mean please... All we see is a viking, napoleon, a pirate and our very own orange king. All these ominous characters are obvious for-signs of DICTATORSHIP or even worse MONARCHY! (my apologies if I offend any Britz, Canadians, Australians or other citizens of countries of the commonwealth or Zimbabweans of this forum) This leads me to believe that the gruntz social structure and even society is based on an upper class ruling over the lower class majority... i mean really, when did you ever see that a warlord get up of his big tush and assist his fellow gruntz in their laborious puzzle-solving. This never-ending death-defying puzzle-solving of course leading to no personal gain, but only leads to uphold the glory of their king by allowing their dictatorships to grow. How you ask? Simple, how does any dictatorship sustain itself? It has to have an ignorant loyal indoctrinated workforce willing to die to keep their country alive with incoming money. Warp stones make up the apparent currency in the world of gruntz. So the specific warlord state's currency of warp stones and thus also wormholes continuously increase at the expense of grunt life. But it doesn't end here, oh no, I see the human urge of eternal greed has also been incorporated in our little gooey 'friends.' Once again you will now be gawking open-eyed at your computer screen with an expression saying: "WHAT THE () IS THIS TWIT TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!" - read on, and behold a conspiracy unfold. Every time a new level of warp stoneage is achieved by the gruntz state through their deprived workforce hard puzzle-working efforts, the state grows and obviously enters a new advanced era in bringing in better technology. (In the gruntz world this is obviously symbolized by the new obstacles that appear as the story progresses) Sorta like a 3rd world country progressing to 1st world status (BUT THROUGH CORRUPTION!) As the grunt country progresses it becomes increasingly more difficult to obtain warp stones as easily as it had been in the previous level due to the 'technological' (obstacle) progression. The same amount of warp stones therefore cannot be harvested with the same amount of gruntz leading to a larger more under-payed, under-nourished workforce as the payment has to be more evenly distributed among them. This will eventually lead to economic inflation and a failed currency as the warp stones lose their value as they become less scarce - just more difficult to obtain due to the country growing to higher levels. As you can Blatantly detect: economic and socio-political collapse will be inevitable. Our very own poverty stricken world. Right in our computer!!!

Furthermore, I don't see common sense incorporated in ANY grunt'z IQ. So they would just accept their role in their society as an non-individualistic servant of their king with no basic grunt rights whatsoever. The king, of course, only achieves more status as his empire expands into greater levels - while he just walks around and commands from his throne/pedestal with liquid next to it.

But the conspiracy theory does not just breach the surface of political spheres. Where are the females? Is there a constitutional law regulating the reformation and reattachment of fallen gooey comrades? And seeing as the society is so predominantly male with their ego macho nature, we will all know that the majority will be most unhappy if certain body parts become mixed up and the specific grunt ends up infused with someone else's err... body parts. Also this obviously promotes a form of cannibilism! - I'm not ganna want my 'body parts' in another guy's mouth where he's magically transferring it to some oven so I can be reassembled! What about 'roidz' - a legal performance-enhancing drug? Or something damaging to our poor disillusioned gooey friend just so that they can get the king's precious warpstone quicker? O.K. That's different debate... I better stop myself. I'll post more ideas of my conspiracy theory later under miscellaneous topics later.

In short: END THE INJUSTICE! PLAY THE GAME AND KILL THE OPPRESSOR! (The warlord) FIGHT FOR GRUNTZ RIGHTS AND BE FREEDOM FIGHTERS- like America in the past. Or be like the cruel warlord and play around with their pitiful lives, or end their suffering quickly - that's also fun.

Awesome. That was fun. I don't suppose anyone will give a pile of goo about what I just wrote so I'll give a dollar (that I don't have) to anyone that reads it in full and explains their understanding in it. O.K.. I must let go of the keyboard now. I don't want EVERYONE on this forum to think I'm a psychotic loon.

- (I'm applauding my work just in case nobody else does)

[SwordGrunt]

As long as I could go back, it would be a great adventure.